What Definition of "Hot" Are We Using?

And this is the guy that somehow made it as the #7 in People Magazine's 10 Hottest Bachelors of '09 list??

#1 Douchebag, yes. Hot Bachelor? No. If Brody Jenner, pictured above whoring for publicity after lunch at The Ivy (a place where publicity whores go because the food is mediocre at best) on Thursday, gets you all hot in the drawz, I question your sanity.

Who the hell put together that list anyway?? In case you didn't read about it on the blogosphere 3 days ago, it reads as follows:

#1. Chace Crawford. That confused and slightly angry look you probably have on your face right now is not dissimilar to the one he often has on his face every Monday on Gossip Girl. Or you might have a blank stare on your face because you don't know who he is, much less why he is number one on this list. Don't worry, he wears that look too. See, you know so much about him already!

#2. Chris Pine. I fully support this decision. I mean, Captain Kirk revamped could get it any day. Though he lost mayjah points with that dirty little Audrina Partridge stint. I'm just sayin'!

#3. Shia LaBeouf. I have loved Shia since Even Stevens, and I don't care if he has watched his parents have sex and would bang his mom. True love is bigger than incest, am i right???

#4. Adam Lambert. ::Blank Stare:: maybe if I had watched American Idol I would understand this choice. But in my meaningless opinion, Adam Lambert is not a sex symbol. Interesting? Yes. Androgynous? Very. Hottest Bachelor of '09? I even consulted my resident trannies (BUS: Bottoms United of Shadyside) on this one, and the answer was a resounding NO.

#5. Ryan Eggold and Kellan Lutz. Maybe I need to watch more TV. I don't get it.

#6. Dwayne Johnson. The wrestler actor formerly known as "The Rock". The brahma bull should always be on this list.

#7. Brody Jenner. You already know how I feel about this.

#8. Common. This. Is. Random. But I'll take it. The man is fine.

#9. Taylor Kitsch. Again, maybe I need to watch more TV.

#10. Rob Pattinson. Ouch. Last place. Much to the chagrin of Twihards around the world who are probably sharpening their pitchforks to murder both Chace Crawford and the person who put together this list.

But come on People, seriously, I know we could have done better than this. Overall, this list was disappointing. And random. What about Ryan Leslie? Adrian Grenier? Columbus Short? That Brody Jenner sh!t is just downright unacceptable.

Who would you have put on the list??

(image via Perez Hilton)